To Be, or To Be Like

Today a young family came into Ruby Tuesday to catch lunch during their holiday travels. The mom wore trendy jeans and a brown leather jacket and seemed like the hip mom that all hip girls want to become. Her husband sported a woven, long-sleeve red shirt which accentuated his bulging muscles and transformed his buzz-cut from an "I am hiding my balding scalp" look into an "I work at a bar and ride my motorcycle to work" look. They were polite, engaged their son lovingly, and demonstrated peaceful confidence. My short interaction caused a strange desire to grow in my heart: I wanted to be like them.
Realization of my desire to be like these strangers caused me to pause and consider what about them I found appealing. They seemed cool, and fun, and confident. They were good parents but didn't sell the richness of their lives to purchase family life. A brief inspection of my motive revealed its superficial root. How could I want to be like them when I dont know what they are actually like? "Who they were" came from an imaginary personality that I had extrapolated based on their external appearance.
I bought into the notion that external appearance reflects a person's nature, even though reality opposes this idea: cool clothes = a cool person. I think we need to reverse this "outside->in" model of character construction. We need to cultivate character traits and dispositions so that our soul aligns with who we want/ought to be. Once our souls obtain the nature we desire, the external image will honestly reflect who we are.